


you're still the best thing in my life

by preciousthings



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, fake dating!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 16:51:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousthings/pseuds/preciousthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which luke gets drunk, tweets something stupid, and is in love with his best friend the whole time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're still the best thing in my life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wafflehood](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflehood/gifts).



> soooooooo i think this is the first cake fic on ao3 uh
> 
> i wrote this for lea and then cake took over my life and now here we are
> 
> i don't own anything and all mistakes are my own. title from "you'll never know" by lawson
> 
> *also on tumblr at itunescuddle*

luke honestly can’t remember what happened last night but he knows that he’s so screwed. they’re in belfast, and he remembers getting a text in a group message from louis sometime close to midnight that said ‘ _me and h got rid of paul party up in mine? got alcohol ;)_ ’

he gets drunk. spectacularly wasted. this isn’t legal _at all_ but louis’ response to everything is “fuck it we’re young!” so luke drinks. a lot. he drinks until everything’s blurry. he vaguely remembers doing body shots off zayn, defensive liam, zayn and liam’s first kiss, and calum (a very sober, very gentle calum) making sure he got up to their hotel room.

(he doesn’t remember anything after that. he doesn’t remember pushing calum up against the door and kissing him, forgets calum pushing him away. doesn’t remember sitting on the bathroom floor, throwing up everything in his stomach. he doesn’t remember calum sitting behind him, rubbing circles into his back. he forgets how gentle calum is with him; making sure he’s asleep before even bothering to try sleeping himself)

when he wakes up the next morning, it feels like there are elephants stampeding inside his head. the hotel curtains seem to be doing the opposite of their job because it’s so _bright_. and. oh. calum’s asleep next to him. _oh_. calum’s _spooning_ him. calum’s arm is wrapped tightly around his waist, and his other arm is behind his head, like he was touching luke’s hair before he fell asleep. how does he not remember this at all? was he really that gone? he finds a waste bin on the floor next to the bed, and water and aspirin on the side table next to him. calum must’ve done that. he moves to reach for the water bottle, and calum stirs next to him.

“shh, go back to sleep. ‘s really early.” luke whispers.

“d’you want me to let go?” calum mumbles into luke’s back.

luke hesitates, doesn’t want to say yes to fast, but doesn’t want to say no. “keep holding.”

falling asleep is easy, then, almost effortless.

~

the next time luke wakes up, it’s to calum poking his side.

“you’re a dick,” luke whines, “what do you want from me?”

“there are at least three people who want to brutally murder you right now, luke hemmings, and i am one of them.”

“wow, good morning to you, too, cal. lovely to see you.” luke sits up in bed, lets his eyes adjust to the brightness.

“shut up.”

“woah. angry calum. what’d i do now?”

“check your twitter.” calum tosses luke his phone.

so he does. he checks his twitter and decides that drunk luke hemmings is an idiot. he doesn’t even remember tweeting ‘ _@calum5sos boyfffff <3’ _but it’s out there now and people think him and calum are dating. which. okay. it’s not like he’d exactly oppose to dating calum. calum’s kind of. everything he wants. his best friend and a generally great person, someone who makes him smile and laugh like no one else can. it’s not just that, it’s also that he knows calum better than he knows anyone else. calum knows him better than he’s let anyone else know him. he tells calum little things, pointless facts, secrets he wouldn’t dare tell anyone else (calum knows that luke is into guys. only his family, and the boys know that (until now, that is), but calum was the first. when luke was fourteen and scared and so confused, calum was nothing but understanding, always there). dating calum would actually be kind of cool. nothing would change. they’d just kiss and stuff. luke really wants to kiss calum.

“twitter thinks we’re dating.” luke states.

“this is bad, luke.”

“i don’t even remember tweeting that. what happened?”

calum looks down at his hands, nervously picks at his nails, like he’s hesitating, avoiding something. “you drank a lot and then you got really touchy and everyone started calling us boyfriends.”

“alright, well that explains it.”

“do you not understand how bad this is?!”

“calm down! we should actually date.” luke says, then realizes what he just said. this could end really badly.

“i love you, hemmo, and you’re my bestest friend, you know that. but there is no way i’m dating you.” calum says, and, okay, that hurts a little more than it should. like a punch to the gut, a little bit. because yeah, maybe he wants to date calum.

“i meant fake date, calm down. you should’ve seen your face just then,”

“so like, make people think we’re together, but we just stay the same as we are now?”

“yes, i’m pretty sure that’s what i meant by fake date. you’re so stupid, cal, honestly.” luke grins.

~

they tell their management that they’re dating. no one freaks out or has a heart attack, that’s good. they actually say this could be _good_ ; two guys in the same band actually in a relationship.

(fake relationship, luke reminds himself. it’s all fake. no feelings. this might be harder than he thinks)

ashton and michael barge into their hotel room a few hours after they talk to management, loud as ever, bickering about _something_. standard, really.

“you two fuckers start dating, and tell management before us, your best friends in the whole world? i thought we had a better relationship than that.” michael heads straight for the bed that’s not currently occupied by calum and luke. (so what if calum is spooning luke on the bed right now? it’s not unusual)

“i’m wounded, really,” ashton comments, and drops down in the chair in the corner of the room.

“we’re not.” calum says. that’s all calum says.

“well, that was incredibly vague and not at all helpful.” ashton says.

“yeah, we still want to know why we didn’t know that you two are dating. i mean, we saw it coming, but wow, tell us things like this.”

“we aren’t dating. fake dating.” luke mumbles. he’s too focused on how _close_ calum is to him right now, how he can hear calum’s heartbeat, and feel calum’s warmth through his tshirt. and _dammit_ , he should be used to this by now. he’s known cal forever. fake dating makes it feel different.

“we’ll break up soon, say it was mutual, and that we just worked better as best friends. management has no idea what we’re planning, though.” calum explains.

“and this is going to work out really well,” michael says sarcastically, shaking his head.

“did you ever think your first publicity stunt would be with me?” luke asks, laughing as he rolls over to face calum.

“i call getting the first picture of the fake lovebirds on twitter!” ashton exclaims, pulling his phone out and snapping a picture.

~

it works.

it really does work.

there are only 9 people (including luke and calum) that really know what’s going on. they told the one direction boys the night they decided to fake date. it would just make touring easier if they knew.

it’s hard though, for luke, at least. luke wants it to be real. nothing about this has ever been fake. he loves calum so much, is actually in love with calum. he honestly doesn’t know how much longer he can take it.

going out is the hardest, though. luke doesn’t know where their boundaries lie. he doesn’t know what he can or can’t do; how much he can push before it’s too much.

the urge to kiss calum is definitely there, though, and it doesn’t seem like it wants to leave any time soon. he thinks maybe calum’s always kind of been _it_ , but he’s never wanted to kiss calum so badly in all the years he’s known him. he’s never wanted to kiss anyone this badly in his whole life.

they’re walking around london one day, trailing a few feet behind michael and ash, when luke reaches out and grabs calum’s hand. it’s tentative, the way luke touches calum, like asking _is this okay? can i do this?_ without the words. he’s blushing like crazy and he knows it, can’t help it at all. calum laces their fingers together, and luke lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

he doesn’t know what he’s thinking when he turns his head, leans in a bit, and kisses calum’s cheek. he fully expects calum to let go of his hand after that (calum still can’t get used to the fake dating thing, and luke feels bad for suggesting it because it’s hard for calum), but he doesn’t do anything except squeeze luke’s hand. _okay_. calum smiles at luke then, a genuine smile that luke knows so well but doesn’t see enough.

he starts to think that maybe this might not be so hard.

~

everything is going so good, it’s only a matter of time before it all falls apart.

it happens in new york, the morning before their first show there. cal brings it up. “y’know, i’m thinking maybe we could fake break up now. ‘s been fun, yeah?”

“yeah,” luke says. it’s all he says. he can’t think of anything else. it’s stupid, how much he wants to keep fake dating calum just to keep him as close as they’ve been. it’s not even like they weren’t close before. they’re still inseparable. it’s so stupid, _he’s_ so stupid for doing this and having these stupid feelings for his best friend. so, so stupid.

“you were a good fake boyfriend, though. the best. any guy or girl who gets to real date you is lucky.”

“thanks,”

luke feels calum snake an arm around his waist from behind, hooking his chin over luke’s shoulder. “you alright?”

“i’m just tired. i’ll be fine.” luke says, tries a weak fake smile and hopes calum believes it.

(he doesn’t, luke’ll find out a few hours later when he sees a tweet on calum’s page that says ‘ _#makelukesmile :D_ ’ and he smiles)

the “breakup” doesn’t get brought up again on the way to the venue, and luke is thankful for that because he’s already thinking about it _too much_. someone should shut his brain off because it’s _screaming_ at him, telling him that going through with this is dumb because he’s wanted calum for so long but he’s too chicken shit to tell him.

they get to the venue, soundcheck, and watch the one direction boys soundcheck, and then they all go off to do seperate things; calum ends up on stage with niall, ashton, and zayn, kicking a football around. luke sits out in one of the seats of the amphitheater and watches. thinks. can’t shut his goddamn brain off.

he doesn’t know how long he sits there before zayn slides into the seat next to him. “up for a game? cal wants you to come down and play.”

“i’ll pass. ‘m kind of tired.” luke scrubs a hand over his face.

“calum said. you alright?” zayn asks.

"just thinking."

"'bout calum, maybe?" zayn smirks, and luke _knows_ it's a joke, how zayn means it, because calum is his fake boyfriend and it's all a joke. except it's true.

luke swallows hard, just nods.

"go on, i'll listen."

"he wants to fake breakup and end the whole fake dating thing and i... kind of don't want to." he sighs, "and it's dumb, i know that! but i like calum. _like_ -like him. he's been acting different since we started fake dating. and i want it to stay like that because i didn't think it was possible  for us to get closer than we were before all the fake dating but we did and i just. i kind of want him for real."

"why don't you tell him that?" zayn asks, and luke really doesn't want to have this conversation right now. or ever, really.

"because he's my best friend and there's no way in hell he'll feel the same way?"

"i know the feeling, hemmo. you're scared, yeah? you think that if he doesn't want to date you, you'll lose your best friend too? 's hard, liking your best friend."

"'m glad someone gets it," luke admits, "i can't really talk about this with mike or ash. i just don't know what to do."

"i think even if calum doesn't want you the way you want him, he's not going to leave you. i saw the way you guys were before the fake dating."

"so you think i should tell him?"

zayn doesn't say anything. just nods and heads back towards the stage.

~

"hey, luke," calum says right as luke is about to fall asleep. "luke, babe, you're not sleeping. i know when you're actually sleeping."

luke smothers his giggles with a pillow but continues to fake sleeping.

"real cute. get up, i wanna talk."

luke rolls over so he's laying flat on his stomach. the thing is, he doesn't want to talk. he could go his entire life without having this conversation. everything's about to change and he doesn't want it to.

"'m gonna cuddle you to death if you don't get up."

"i wouldn't oppose to that." luke mumbles into the pillow.

"c'mon, we need to talk."

luke twists around, and sits up to find calum sitting cross legged at the end of the bed. calum moves so he's closer to luke.

"what d'you want to talk about? was just about to sleep."

"are we gonna break up? like, you're okay with it, yeah?"

this is it, it's pretty much now or never. luke hasn't stopped thinking since he talked to zayn earlier and this is it. it either ends now or he makes it real.

he reaches to where calum has his hands folded in his lap and holds them. _i'm going to lose him_ , luke thinks as he leans in and kisses calum. it's barely anything, just a press of the lips. he's so young and he hasn't done much of this and this is _calum_ and he can't mess this up. when he pulls back calum is looking at him with wide eyes.

"luke,"

"please don't stop being my friend."

"do you remember what happened that night in belfast? like after we went back to the room. do you have any idea what happened?" calum asks, suddenly changing the subject.

"i just remember how gentle you were, calum. that's it." luke says, letting go of calum's hands and staring down at his own hands.

"you pushed me up against the wall and you kissed me. and i pushed you off of me because i didn't know what to do. i'm seventeen and i've been kissed like three times and my best mate was kissing me and i had no idea what to do. and you were drunk too, and i had no idea what you meant by kissing me. _if_ you meant it. so i freaked out a little bit. and i wanted you to mean it and i still want you to mean it but you don't even remember what happened. i thought maybe you were just not bringing it up because i reacted the way i did, but you don't remember, so." calum says in a rush.

luke kind of hates himself. because, okay, he kissed calum. and he doesn't remember it.

"calum... i'm so sorry. you should've said something, because, god, i want to kiss you. if i didn't make that obvious when i just kissed you."

"d'you want to? again?" calum asks, and luke just nods before leaning forward, grabbing calum's face in his hands and kissing him again. it's just as soft as the first time, because this is just so _new_ and he's not about to mess it up when it took this long to get. they just fit, their lips slide together, and calum runs his tongue over luke's lower lip, as if he's asking for more. luke parts his lips slightly and calum licks into his mouth, and _yes_.

luke pulls back first, smiling softly at calum.

"i don't think we should fake break up." calum says, leaning in again and pressing his lips to luke's neck.

"n-no. let's try this for real." luke runs his fingers under calum's shirt, tracing circles on his back.

"so, i kind of love you." calum says.

"i kind of love you too." luke grins, leaning in for another kiss.


End file.
